Nothing in life worth having comes easy
by ejgfiwegfliuwg
Summary: A fic about how Jack and Iantos relationship began and the frustrations and problems they face to make it work. Jack/Ianto paring, very slight Jack/Gwen. First Fic.


Okay this is my first fan fic so if you could please, pretty please review that would be great, even if it's just to say it was a load of crap

**Okay this is my first fan fic so if you could please, pretty please review that would be great, even if it's just to say it was a load of crap!!**

**Disclaimer-I do not own Torchwood, maybe in my dreams, but not in reality!!**

**Chapter 1-Ianto POV, set after Cyberwomen**

Frustration! That's all I felt right now. Jack kills my girlfriend and then suspends me. God I hate him. It's only been two weeks and I'm already losing my mind. I even miss Owen, but for some reason not as much as Jack…

There was a knock at my door. I knew it would be one of the team and, to be honest, I couldn't be bothered with either the sympathy or the idle conversation; always avoiding any mention of Torchwood. The hammering continued getting louder, can't they take a hint!!

"PISS OFF!"

"Come on Yan you know I won't; it's part of my charm…" God that sexy American accent-always turning my legs to Jelly. What was I thinking he killed my girlfriend!

"Ianto…" he sounded oddly serious for a guy who could usually barely keep himself from turning every single sentence into some sort of dodgy-but still so sexy-phrasing. "Please, I just wanna talk."

I'd had enough. Bolting up from my couch I practically sprinted over to the door and opened it, keeping the chain firmly on. "I don't give a shit about what you wanna say, just piss off!" It came out a lot sterner than I meant. Jack looked me up a down; clearly mentally undressing me. Only Captain Jack Harkness, universal flirt, could maintain a serious atmosphere when fantasising about the person he's talking to. God I miss that!!

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you but, I-I just thought you might want to talk to someone about what happened," he paused, awkwardly looking around, "someone who knows what it is like to loose someone, someone they cared about." Jack turned away as his voice trailed off. I couldn't believe it when I looked at him. He was holding back tears that couldn't be held back. Tears streamed down his face. I couldn't bring myself to let this go on no matter how much I hated him. I stepped out into the hall and pulled him into a tight embrace, allowing him to cry into my shoulder.

I had no idea what to say or do. Captain Jack Harkness, man of mystery, crying into my shoulder after revealing a tiny portion of the life we still knew nothing about. He'd loved and lost someone.

Part of me, the part of me bursting with curiosity, wanted to push for more information, find out as much as possible. Discover how someone who had heartlessly shot Lisa, my Lisa, could fall in love. The other part, the part that understood how vulnerable and exposed he felt, knew that Jack needed comfort, a familiar face.

Landing on comfort, I took my hand and started cradling his head, the soft touch of his hair beneath my fingers sending shivers down my spine. Absently I started playing with it, twirling it around my fingers.

After several minutes Jacks tears seemed to have subsided so I pushed him of me, keeping him at arms length. Realising that my hands were softly around his face I dropped them to my sides and walked over to the door, opening it to allow entry for both of us. He walked in and I gestured for him to sit down on the couch, whilst I went to the kitchen area, filling the kettle to make two coffees.

Once they were made I went over to the living area and handed Jack, who hadn't said, his coffee. After dropping down onto the seat next to him I took a large gulp of coffee. Several long minutes went past so I decided to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between us.

"The weathers nice today," the weather, out of all the things in the world I had to talk about the weather. Why does even looking at him make me fumble? Jack looked out the window, and action I hadn't taken before saying my comment. Black clouds had formed and rain was pummelling down like marbles.

"I guess everyone has the right to their own opinion," Jack said jokingly. I gave a nervous laugh before falling again into silence.

We'd both finished our coffees and were half way through our refills before one of us decided to break the silence.

"You wanna watch a film?" Jack looked at me for a couple of seconds and before he could respond I'd already lost myself in his eyes and in fantasy. I think he sensed this and seemed oddly uncomfortable for a guy who, just twenty minutes ago, had been mentally undressing me.

Turning away he said "Sure what you got?" I knelt down on the floor and started pulling out various DVDs, holding them up to Jack to get his opinion. After we'd gone through my entire collection I realised Jack was playing with me by saying "no" to every one.

Finally I said "Okay, I'm thinking we should watch The Rock, Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery, great film. You okay with that?" Jack looked at me for a moment. Crap he was doing that manipulative stare he always does to get him over to his way of thinking; I tried to look away but…

"You see I was thinking the Die Hard collection," Yep he'd even cocked his head to the right to match his stare.

"Why, do you have a thing for Bruce Willis?" I said, trying to use a voice that I hoped would sound tough but came out hurried and husky.

Jack smiled and laughed his short sexy laugh. "No I just have a thing for hot sweaty bodies!" I scoffed at him and moved over to the DVD player to put in Die Hard 1. Manipulative Bastard.

After the credits started rolling after Die Hard 4.0 we got into a discussion over whether Bowman and Gabriel were really secret lovers, started of course by Jack!

"Come on, did you see the kiss Gabriel gave that Mai girl it was so unnatural. I swear he's gay!" Jack was arguing, "I'd bet he would've gone for me if I was there." I laughed making the bear I'd just drunk burst out of my mouth. Jack smiled at me in the way that made you feel as though he loved everything about you.

"I bet you could get anyone; straight, gay, bi or alien," I said grinning manically.

"Really, you think that! You see it's the jaw line, once you've seen it you can't get enough of it!" He smiled and we both cracked up.

Once we'd both stopped laughing the silence that had swept over us before came again. This time, being broken by Jack.

"I had to Ianto please understand that," we'd got onto the subject I'd been regretting. Lisa. "When I leave here tonight I've got to know-got to-"He broke off, drawing shaky breaths and moved over to the window, turning his back to me. He took a deep breath and tried once again. "I've got to know that you understand my decision and I can't leave here until you do. Even if I-"

I broke him off, "I understand," Jack looked at me over his shoulder, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, a disbelieving look in his eyes, "I really do." I smile at him and he smiled back, looking back out at the stars that had since become visible against the velvety black sky. I moved behind him wrapping my arms around waste, looking up at the stars.

"I love the stars," I whispered, loud enough for him to hear, "To think that even though they're so far away they're large enough to be seen from here. It makes us realise how small and insignificant we are compared to the rest of the universe." Jack turned in my arms and stared into my eyes, his eyes filled with love and passion.

"You'll never be insignificant to me Ianto Jones," Jack gently tilted my head upwards to match his own height. He gently kissed me on the lips and whispered, barely audible…

"Never"

**Okay this is my first fan fic so please be kind. I have planned the next chapter but I will only put it up if I get reviews. Reviews are like my life force I need them!!**

**Darmok******


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